HOW TO DEAL WITH TRUST ISSUES
" A single lie discovered is enough to create doubt in every truth expressed."
Trust is the main foundation of any relationship you have in your life. The closeness, vulnerability, and connection with a person are well dependent on how much both partakers trust each other.
Photo by Ronda Dorsey on Unsplash
"Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships."
– Stephen R. Covey
- WHAT ARE THE REASONS BEHIND SOMEONE HAVING TRUST ISSUES?
- The most conspicuous cause is downright betrayal.
- Other possibilities may include a person saying things behind your back.
- Some might even show changes in their behavioral traits which may be unheard of for them to show such traits.
- HOW DO BETRAYALS AFFECT YOU AND THE OTHER PERSON?
Let us assume that person (say XYZ), betrayed you.
How does that affect you apart from leaving you in utter rage and wrath for the person?
Well, much more.
It takes away your ability to trust ANYONE for god knows how much time. It leaves you in a troubled state of mind replaying all the good memories you once spent with that person now just left as a wound to be healed. It makes you reluctant to open up again. Loneliness, anxiety, depression, ability to adjust to different surroundings, commitment issues.
Not to mention Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Too much to handle after losing a friend isn't it?
Do they feel remorse for their actions? Do they regret doing such a thing to you irrespective of the fact how big or small it may be? Does it even disassemble them a teeny-tiny bit?
Well, probably.
There are two types of people who take this position.
- A person who does not feel anything.
- A person who felt everything.
So person 1 clearly did this on purpose and hence because of their ice-cold frozen-hearted disposition, it doesn't affect them a single bit.
Their intention was to hurt you. Kudos to them, "Mission accomplished".
Person 2 may not have done it intentionally and perhaps could never bring themselves to tell you, this doesn't make them at fault any less. What's done is done.
Just so you know, you have every right to be furious at them but that doesn't mean you shouldn't hear them out. Perhaps they might have an explanation as to why the incident took place. Possibly there could have been a misunderstanding, a miscommunication of sorts.
The only way to know the full truth is for both parties to confront each other directly without any assumptions, third-wheelers, and most importantly gossip.
If you want to resolve things between you and XYZ, the conversation should be between you both alone.
- HOW DO YOU GET OVER IT?
After the confrontation, you should give yourself as much time as needed to heal. Reflect back, make peace with the past, and honestly just move on. It was never your fault in the first place.
Be vulnerable to the emotions because it's the only way you're gonna heal.
Don't keep thinking about what happened or what could've happened. It's all in the past now. Forgive but never forget.
This experience gave you another insight as to what can happen in the world and that you're not the only one who's facing it.
People come and go in our lives exactly how the ocean deposits seashells on the shore and takes away the sand.
Sometimes it leaves you with the best things, sometimes takes away the worst.
Seashells stay and become a prominent part of your life and all the needless ones float right away :')
It is in your hands whom to trust.
And remember, diamonds do not break so easily ;)
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Lovedd the seashells instance <33
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